Saline Courier Column #3
On November 24, 2011, I turned 15 years old. Yes, you read that right. November 24, 1996 was my spiritual birthday…the day I was baptized. I know some who believe that God should make everything easy and that nothing bad should ever happen again once you follow him. Maybe they use that as an excuse for not believing that God exists in the first place. I cannot say that my life has been a breeze since becoming a Christian; that would be a bold-faced lie. As a Christian, I have experienced some of the most profound losses of my life, some of the most painful heartaches, and some of the most intense struggles. I have learned who my true friends are. I have also been given a very unique story and the opportunity to share my story with others and to share what God has done in my life.
I have a friend, who also had thyroid cancer. She once told me that if God really existed He wouldn’t allow someone so young, someone with young children, someone with so much life left to live to have cancer…that cancer would not exist at all. In a perfect world, I believe she would be right. But the world is not perfect. It is harsh and raw and painful and dirty. But the world is also joyous and exciting and fulfilling and blessed. You just have to look for the positive in every situation.
I don’t believe that being a Christian makes you immune to the challenges the world throws into your life. I do believe that being a Christian gives you opportunities to be closer to God. Keeping my faith has been the most difficult challenge. I wish I could tell you that I just take whatever life throws at me with grace and tact, but I can assure you that I do not. I have been told by several people on numerous different occasions that I am a strong person and that my faith is admirable. I graciously take the compliment but, inside, I’m laughing in their face. I project an illusion of strength and faith, but I do not always truly feel it. I have spent many moments in tears asking God, “Why me?” and begging him to take this affliction from me. What good would that do though? I would be happier for never having gone through the turmoil of having cancer and my family wouldn’t have had to have the experience of worrying about a loved one with cancer. I would have my voice fully restored and who knows; maybe I would have a recording contract, multi-platinum albums and a slew of #1 hits on the Billboard charts. But then I would not be writing a blog and enlightening others of the issues and processes of living with cancer. I would not be spreading awareness for a cancer that is very serious but not at all taken seriously. I would not be writing my own column for my local paper. I would not be as strong as I am. I would not have the faith that I have in God that He is always with me and will guide me through whatever comes my way. I believe that the will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.
Life is messy and completely unfair, but that’s just life. What makes you is how you respond to what obstacles life puts in your path. I have had many obstacles in my path and I could have let them make me bitter. I do not think anyone would blame me for being angry at God, but I choose not to be angry. I choose to be happy and content with my life and the chaos in it. I choose that because I know, no matter what, that God is with me and will guide me through the obstacles. With His guidance, I will be a better, stronger and more faithful Christian on the other side. Until next week, be happy!
